


When Enough Is Enough

by snickersnack



Series: First kiss [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Caring Arthur, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic Revealed, Merthur - Freeform, upset merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 23:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snickersnack/pseuds/snickersnack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After having a really bad day, Merlin uses his magic in front of Arthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Enough Is Enough

**Author's Note:**

> I know Gwaine and Percy weren't knights when Uther was King but them along with Leon are my favourits so here they are.

Merlin had a headache. It wasn’t a bad headache but it had started the day before and he had had enough of it, it was getting him down. All he wanted now was to get back to Camelot, get something from Gaius for it and to curl up on his little bed to get some sleep. 

They were on their way home, a few more days and they would be back and Merlin couldn’t really complain. So far it had been a good trip. There was just the five of them, Arthur of course, then Leon, Percival, Gwaine and Merlin. They had been visiting outlying villages, just to ensure that everything was well, to listen to any concerns of the villagers and to be seen as a protecting presence. To let the villagers know that they hadn’t been forgotten by their King. 

They had eaten well. Some nights eating fresh meat or fish they had caught and cooked on open fires before settling down on bedding rolls to sleep in the woods, other nights eating in taverns before retiring to small beds in rented rooms. They had traded game they had caught for bread and cheese in the villages they had visited.

It had stayed dry for the entire excursion and though the skies had been mostly grey it hadn’t been very cold. They had encountered no bandits and no one had attempted to assassinate the prince. But the best thing about the trip so far was that they had had a laugh and they had all thoroughly enjoyed themselves. 

Arthur really couldn’t think of anything he would rather be doing. He knew trips like this would need to stop when he was king. He would have to send Leon as his ambassador but for now he was determined to make the most of this time away from the castle with those that he considered to be his friends.

He loved the freedom of the woods and he loved to hunt and trips like this had the added bonus of meeting his people. To ensure all was well in the kingdom that would one day be his. In each village they had visited on this occasion the people had seemed happy. There had been a good harvest and the animals were thriving. The villagers had been most welcoming to their little group and if the people of Camelot were happy then Arthur was happy, but today just one thing was bothering him; Merlin.

Up until today, Merlin had been his normal, annoying, cheeky, charming self. He had taken the brunt of most of the jokes as normal and given back as good as he got, as normal. Today though, Merlin had been quiet. Too quiet and Arthur didn’t like it. He thought back to the previous days, trying to think if maybe they had taken the teasing too far. Had someone said something to upset him? He didn’t think so. It had all been the normal light hearted banter that always accompanied these trips. 

He and the knights had tried during the day to make Merlin laugh but so far had only managed to raise small smiles from him. Arthur was tempted to start annoying him to make him retaliate but decided that maybe today he should just try and be nice to him. Yes today he would be nice. 

As his three knights took the lead, Arthur held back a little and bought his horse alongside Merlin’s.

“You alright Merlin?” he asked.

Merlin looked over at him and gave him one of his beaming smiles.

“Yes sire,” he answered. 

“Good,” said Arthur, smiling back. “Hopefully we should get to stay in a tavern tonight if we keep making good time. Then it won’t be long and we will be home and you can attend the horses, clean my armour, polish my boots, change my bed and get me a bath.”

Merlin shook his head slightly and gave a small chuckle.

“Yes sire,” he said again, “though I did put clean sheets on your bed just before we left so it would be ready for you when we got back.”

“How very thoughtful,” Arthur replied. “Perhaps you aren’t completely useless then.” He said as he spurned on his horse and took the lead once again. Looking over his shoulder he was pleased to see Merlin still smiling. Arthur realised, not for the first time, that all he ever wanted was for Merlin to be happy and safe. 

 

They did make good time and they arrived at the inn as the light was beginning to fade. 

The inn keeper looked up as Arthur and his men stepped inside. Arthur walked up to the bar as the knights flopped down at an empty table. Merlin dumped a few bags by the table and joined Arthur at the bar. His headache had got worse in the last few hours and he badly needed a drink of water.

“What can I do for you gentlemen?” the barman asked cheerfully.

“We require food and board for the night if you have it.” Arthur replied putting some gold coins on the bar.

“Food I can do,” the barman said “as for board, I have one very small room available upstairs but there are only four beds. Your servant is welcome to sleep in the hay loft above the stables. It’s warm and dry and I believe he would be comfortable.”

Arthur turned to look at Merlin as he stood beside him and considered. He had heard of fires late at night in hay lofts and people unable to escape. What if Merlin accidently set fire to the hay and burnt to death? What if bandits came and ran him through as he slept? He knew he was being ridiculous but he felt Merlin would be safer with them.

“Is there any floor space in the room?” he asked the bar keeper, his eyes not leaving Merlin.

“Well yes my lord, there is a little, but not much.” The barman said.

“Good, then he stays with us.” Arthur decided.

Merlin rolled his eyes and his shoulders slumped. The hay loft sounded perfect, much better than a cramped bit of tavern floor.

“Arthur,” he almost whined, “I will be fine in the loft.”

“No, you will be safer with us. Knowing your clumsiness you will fall down the ladder and break your neck.” Arthur said.

“Arthur….”

“That’s final Merlin.” Arthur snapped. Then turning his attention back to the barkeeper he asked for five ales.

“Four and a water please,” Merlin corrected and Arthur stared at him again.

“Too good to drink with us are you Mer-lin?” he said with a mock expression of indignation on his face.

Merlin’s headache was making him irritable and he didn’t mean to but he found himself snapping back at the prince.

“Just leave it Sire,” he said, holding up his hand. “I have a headache that I don’t need making worse with bad ale.” He turned to the bar man and added, “No offence sir”

The barman chuckled, “None taken young man” he smiled. He had never heard a servant speak to royalty like that. This was going to be an entertaining evening.

Arthur watched as Merlin walked over to the table and slunk down next to Leon, his hands threading through his hair as he leant his elbows on the table. Merlin felt Leon’s hand squeeze his shoulder in a friendly fashion.

Arthur walked over and put his hands on his hips looking down at his servant.

“Since when?” he demanded.

“Yesterday.”

“And that’s why you have been quiet today?” Arthur asked. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“What would be the point?” Merlin snapped again, sitting up straight and glaring at the prince. “You would only pick on me, call me a girl and tell me to stop complaining.” Merlin slumped again, and said quieter “It’s only a headache and it’s not that bad. There is nothing you could do about it anyway.”

Arthur bent down and started rummaging in the packs, bringing out a small bottle and holding it out to Merlin. Merlin looked at it then up at Arthur. He recognised it immediately as one of Gaius’s remedies.

Arthur waved it at him.

“Take it you idiot,” he said, “It’s not the good one that makes your lips and fingers numb but it should take the edge off it.”

Merlin took it and swallowed it down in one gulp. It tasted disgusting and he felt a tankard thrust into his hands as he squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced at the taste.

“His lordships water,” Gwaine laughed as he thrust the tankard at him and Merlin gulped greedily at it as he washed the taste away.  
He felt his ears and cheeks burn, feeling embarrassed at his earlier outburst.

“Idiot” he heard Arthur say as he sat opposite him with his own tankard.

“Prat” Merlin mumbled as their supper was bought over. 

Gwaine began to loudly tell them all a tale of one of the many times he was banished from a town in Cenred’s kingdom and the group fell into their normal friendly chatter as they ate and drank happily. 

Arthur kept stealing glances at Merlin to ensure he was alright. 

“Better?” he asked one time that Merlin caught him.

Merlin nodded. Arthur had been right, it had taken the edge off the pain and though it was still there it was not nearly as bad. 

“Thanks” he said quietly giving Arthur a small smile which was returned by Arthur and witnessed by the bar keeper and his wife. There would be many nights in the future that they would tell the tale of the prince of Camelot spending the evening at their inn and the care Arthur had shown towards his skinny servant who treated the prince as if he wasn’t heir to the throne.

 

The inn owner had not been wrong when he said the room was small, it was tiny. Arthur viewed the floor space at the end of the four beds just in front of the door and instantly felt guilty. It was a good job Merlin was skinny or he wouldn’t have fitted at all. The floor boards were possibly the most uneven he had ever seen and he was tempted to send Merlin off to sleep in the hay loft after all. But no, his reasons for wanting Merlin with them still stood, Merlin would be safer here.

“Merlin,” he said, “why don’t you go and get my bedding roll as well as your own? That floor is quite uneven.”

Merlin peered over Arthurs shoulder and looked at the offending space. His shoulders slumped as he saw the small space and imagined the comfort of the hay loft. He turned round and squeezed past Leon as he made his way back down stairs to get Arthurs roll.

Gwaine glared at the prince from the other side of the room. 

“Why don’t you just let him sleep in the loft?” he asked.

Arthur glared right back.

“Because I want him here in case I need anything in the night,” he lied through gritted teeth. “He is my servant and he is here to serve.”

They all new that that was not strictly true. They all new that Merlin was more than that to the prince but being honour bound to Arthur stopped them saying anything. It was obvious he had made up his mind on the matter.

Gwaine flopped down on his bed. He knew there was no point arguing with the princess so he contented himself with settling down to sleep.

By the time Merlin returned all the knights were snuggled under the blankets. Merlin laid out Arthur’s roll then his on top and began trying to get comfy. After ten minutes he knew it was going to be impossible. There was one thick, worn floor board that was sticking up a good inch above the rest and even through the extra padding Merlin could still feel it sticking into his ribs. He tried turning round so that his head was near the door but that was worse so he swapped back again. There was just no room for manoeuvre and he kept whacking his elbow on the wall as he tried to shift in the tiny space. 

If only he could use his magic. He was sure he could change the shape of the floor board with magic. Or he could make the bedding rolls thicker or the space bigger so that he could move away from the blasted floor board. Or he could enchant Arthur so that he wouldn’t wake up and sneak off to the hay loft. He supposed he could do that anyway but knowing his luck he would slip and break his neck in the dark. He wouldn’t be able to take a candle to light the way because he would probably set fire to the hay, but if he could risk using his magic he could conjure a safe light, a nice blue floating orb. It wasn’t very often that Merlin felt bitter about having to hide his magic, to hide who he was, but right now he did. Right now he was so tired and with Gaius’s remedy wearing off he really could have cried with the injustice of it all.

Arthur could hear Merlin trying to get comfy at the end of his bed. If only the knights weren’t there, he would have offered him to share his bed. They could have top and tailed or better still, Arthur could have wrapped his arms round Merlin’s slender frame as Merlin rested his head against Arthur’s chest. Arthur would have liked that and with that the last thought in his mind, he fell asleep.

Merlin finally fell asleep just before dawn as the others were starting to stir. Arthur turned round and led on his stomach to look down on his sleeping form. Merlin was sound asleep and looked beautiful. His brow was slightly drawn but as Arthur carefully ran his thumb over the pale skin of his cheek bone he saw it relax and Merlin seemed to fall into an even deeper sleep. Arthur was just thinking about leaning over further to give his servant a small kiss on the cheek when Gwaine spoke up.

“Are you tormenting the poor boy?” he asked yawning. He had awoken to see Arthur the other way round on the bed with his chin poking over the foot end gazing down at his servant.

Arthur quickly sat up and scowled at the grinning knight.

“No, I was going to wake him to organise some breakfast,” he said lying again, “but he is so useless this early we may as well leave him to sleep.”

It wasn’t easy scrambling out of the small room over Merlin’s sleeping form in front of the door, but they all managed it and were soon seated around the same table as the previous night whilst the smell of bacon wafted through from the kitchens.

The breakfast was delicious and the knights ate heartily. There was bacon and eggs and sausages and soft bread and Gwaine and Percival just kept ordering until they could eat no more. 

“Right, time to wake Merlin” said Arthur rising from the table. Turning to the barman he said. “Just one more plate for my lazy servant, if you would be so kind.”

The barman’s face fell.

“I’m sorry sire but it’s all gone. There is a little bread left from yesterday and I could probably find some cheese…”

Arthur sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Fine,” he said, “Just find him something or we won’t hear the end of it all day.” And he bounded up the stairs to wake Merlin.

“Damn,” Percival said as he looked at the pile of rind on his plate. “I should have saved him some.”

“We weren’t to know,” Leon said as he looked guiltily at the others. “We will have to catch him something later.”

The barman put a pathetic plate of food on the table and looked up sheepishly.

“Is that really the best you can do?” Gwaine asked him.

The barman nodded. This was what most servants were given when they stayed at his inn. He should have realised from the way the group had interacted the night before that this servant was treated more as a friend than a lackey. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he cleared the other plates and shuffled away.

The knights looked at the plate and got up to sort out the horses and get ready to leave.

 

Upstairs Arthur sat on the end of the bed trying to decide if he was brave enough to wake Merlin with a kiss. He decided he wasn’t.

“Merlin,” he said softly as he shook his friends shoulder. “Time to wake up.”

Merlin groaned slightly but didn’t wake up.

“Merlin, time to wake up.” he said louder, shaking Merlin harder.

Merlin’s woke up but kept his eyes tightly shut. His headache was back with a vengeance and he felt like he had been in a fight. His ribs were killing him.

“What happened?” he asked groggily. Surely he must have been beaten up.

“Nothing,” Arthur replied, slightly confused. “We went to bed, it’s now the morning.”

“Oh,” Merlin said opening his eyes. 

“Come on down,” Arthur said. “Breakfast is waiting for you. We need to get going as soon as you’re done.” And he left the room.

Merlin could hardly move. His back was killing him but he was hungry, so he slowly packed up the bedding rolls and made his way carefully down the stairs where Arthur was waiting for him at the table. He slumped next to the plate of food opposite Arthur and picked up the bread. It was rock hard and he saw Arthur wince at it.

“How’s your head?” Arthur asked quietly.

Merlin shook it a little. “Not brilliant.” He said dunking the bread in the milk that the bar man had just brought him.

Arthur frowned. “Did you get much sleep?” he asked.

Merlin shook his head again. “It was getting light I think when I fell asleep.”

“I’m sorry Merlin,” Arthur said. “I should have let you sleep in the loft.”

Merlin stopped trying to bite a chunk off the hard bread and looked up at Arthur who held his gaze.

“Did you just say sorry?” he asked.

Arthur shifted uncomfortably.

“Yes,” he said “and don’t expect me to say it again. Now hurry up I want to go.”

“Where is your breakfast and where are the others?” Merlin asked. 

“We have already eaten,” Arthur replied.

Merlin drank the milk and stood up. “We may as well go now, this is too hard to eat, I don’t know how you managed it.” He said as he went to find the others, not noticing how Arthur’s cheeks went pink with guilt. He had tried to do the right thing by Merlin. He thought he would be safer with them but that just led to him getting no sleep. Then he thought he was doing him a favour by letting him have a lie in but that just meant he got no breakfast.

Percival came up to Merlin as he carefully picked his way across the court yard trying not to jar his back. Merlin was not sure how he was going to get on his horse as his back was killing him.

“I’m so sorry Merlin,” Percival said as Merlin looked at him confused. “I wouldn’t have had the third plate if I had known there would be none left for you.”

Merlin frowned as he realised what had happened. The prat hadn’t bothered to wake him and then they had eaten all the breakfast. He looked down at the floor and took a deep breath trying to stay calm.

“It doesn’t matter,” he mumbled as he walked over to his horse. Someone had already saddled her and for that he was grateful. He attached the bedding rolls to the rest of the packs and somehow managed to get himself up onto the saddle. He felt sure his ribs would be covered in bruises if he looked.

“You alright Merlin?” Leon asked as he drew his horse alongside.

“Fine.” Merlin said through slightly gritted teeth as he spurred his horse on to follow the others onto the dirt track. Hopefully they would make it back to Camelot about lunch time and he could sleep in his own bed tonight though he was so tired he wondered if he would be able to sleep on horseback without falling off. If he could use magic he could probably manage it.

Today was going to be slow going. It had rained heavily during the night and the paths were sodden and muddy. At least it was not raining now thought Arthur as they trudged along. Gwaine and Percival were arguing as to which of the bar maids from the inns they had stayed in were prettier and Arthur was pleased to see that Leon was trying to talk to Merlin though it bothered him that he wasn’t having much luck. 

Leon was worried. Merlin was usually one to complain quite vocally when he was unhappy about anything. Arthur had told Leon that Merlin still had his headache. He could see that he was tired and he must be hungry. He was also holding himself stiffly on his horse so why wasn’t he complaining.

“It’s not like you to be so quiet.” He said as he walked alongside him.

“Just tired,” Merlin mumbled. He couldn’t be bothered to add all the other things that were wrong. He knew Leon was just trying to be nice but really couldn’t bring himself to care. He had spent all night brooding about not being able to use his magic. About how he would lose all his friends and be killed if he told them. But today he just wanted to tell them then hopefully they would just put him out of his misery. Arthur would either forgive him or kill him. Either way he would know where he stood. The only thing stopping him was Gaius. They would find out that Gaius had helped him and he would be executed as a traitor. If only Uther would hurry up and die but there was no sign of that happening any time soon. He felt sure then that things would get easier.

Leon tried a few more times to make conversation but soon gave up and went to join Arthur at the front.

“We need to get him some food.” Leon said as he reached Arthur. 

“Yes I know,” Arthur replied, “We will take the lower path along by the river. It will take longer but we should be able to catch some fish further upstream. He can then rest whilst we get a fire going to cook them. He won’t be able to carry on all day without a rest. I think those floor boards have crippled him.” 

Leon nodded. He was surprised that Arthur had taken such notice and given it as much thought as he had as the best way to help his servant. Arthur had come a long way since the arrogant bully that Leon used to know. He would like to think that he had played some part in this new Arthur, but he knew it was all Merlin’s doing. He was a good influence on him.

They took the lower path and carried on. Leon and Arthur had joined in the bar maid argument, which had turned into a general argument as to which colour hair was best. 

During the next few hours riding the knights had arranged themselves so that Merlin was no longer at the back which gave Percival the perfect vantage point to see what happened as the swollen river bank gave way just as Merlin’s horse stood on it sending Merlin tumbling into the fast running water.

Merlin hardly made a sound as he splashed into the icy water as Percy yelled his name. The water was running in the same direction they were and Arthur saw as Merlin was swept past him as he was caught in the current.

“Merlin!” Arthur shouted as he spurned his horse into a gallop. He overtook Merlin around the next bend and jumping from his horse was able grab the back of Merlin’s jacket as he went past and pulled him onto the bank.

He held Merlin tightly in his arms as he coughed and spluttered and tried to catch his breath. He was shaking from head to foot and he clung onto Arthurs arms for all he was worth as his heart rate calmed down. He had felt sure he was going to drown.

“It’s alright Merlin.” Arthur whispered, trying to convince himself more than anything. “I have you, you’re safe.” 

Merlin heard the others nearby and knew he should try to untangle himself from the safety of Arthur’s arms but he really couldn’t bring himself to. Arthur had saved him and was holding him and whispering into his hair, rocking him slightly. Merlin just wanted to go to sleep in his arms as he had dreamt of so many times. Leon saw his eyes sliding shut and not knowing if he was injured thought it best that he didn’t fall asleep right then.

“Stay awake Merlin.” Leon said. Arthur looked up at him. He had forgotten that anyone else was there. “Sire he is bleeding.” Leon continued, carefully taking Merlin from Arthur’s arms and laying him down on the bank so he could check him properly for broken bones.

Arthur looked down and sure enough there was a nasty gash on the top of Merlin’s arm.

Merlin opened his eyes as instructed by Leon but he was annoyed that he wouldn’t just let him sleep. Didn’t he know how tired he was?

“Do you hurt anywhere?” Leon asked as Merlin felt warm hands start to check his limbs for signs of breakages. 

Merlin did a quick assessment. His head, back and ribs were hurting but no more than before and the top of his arm was throbbing but other than that there was nothing new. Percival came over with a blanket and put it over him.

“I’m fine,” he mumbled, “just cold. Where’s Cara?”

Leon was confused and looked up at Arthur, thinking Merlin must have banged his head.

“It’s his horse.” Arthur said. “I’m sure she is fine Merlin.” But looking up he caught Gwaines eye and the knight shook his head.

“She has broken her leg I’m afraid sire.” Gwaine said. “It’s quite bad. There is nothing to be done even if we could get her back to Camelot. We will have to put her out of her misery.”

Merlin was up onto his feet in a second.

“No!” he yelled as he ran back along the path as fast as his legs would carry him with the knights in hot pursuit. 

Gwaine caught him before he could reach the horse and pulled him in to an embrace holding Merlin tightly against his chest . 

The bone was badly broken and sticking out through the side of the horses leg and there was blood everywhere. He really didn’t want Merlin to see it. Gwaine knew how much Merlin loved that horse. At the end of a bad day, Merlin would often go and sit with her. He found her calming and Gwaine had often found him there on his way back from the tavern. She was the only horse Merlin had ever ridden. When he had come to Camelot he had never even been on a horse and Cara had suited him well. She had been calm and patient with him and together they had made him a decent rider.

Merlin struggled against Gwaines body. His thin arms trying to push the solid Knight away, but Gwaine just held tight.

“Let go of me!” Merlin shouted, ignoring the pounding in his head and the sharp pain in the top of his arm. He could feel the blood running down under his sleeve.

“Calm down Merlin.” Gwaine said, “There is nothing you can do for her, just calm down.”

Gwaine was surprised that Merlin did seem to calm down. He slumped into Gwaines arms and clung onto the front of his tabard. The truth was Merlin had run out of energy and couldn’t fight any longer even though he wanted to. 

“Please just let me see her.” He said through his tears. “I just want to see her.” He knew that if Gwaine said there was nothing they could do then there was nothing they could do.

Gwaine looked over at Arthur who nodded.

He released his hold and Merlin went to his horse and fell onto his knees by her head. He stroked her neck as he put his head against hers and he sobbed quietly as he said his goodbyes. Arthur came behind him, placed a blanket over his shaking shoulders and rubbed gentle circles onto his back.

“Come away now Merlin.” He said gently. “We can’t let her suffer any longer and we need to see to your arm.” And he led him back down stream to where Leon had started to build a fire.

Gwaine killed the horse as humanly as he could as Percy caught them some fish.

Merlin didn’t really notice as Arthur got him out of his wet clothes and dried him off before dressing him in his dry ones. He sat him down on a fallen log, wrapped him in a blanket and cleaned and wrapped his arm the best he could as the fish was cooking. The wound was quite bad and Arthur thought it might need stitching when he got Merlin back to Gaius.

Merlin was vaguely aware of hushed tones discussing whether he had banged his head or if he was in shock. He felt numb. If he had been able to use his magic he could have saved her. He could have stopped the bank from crumbling. Or if he couldn’t do that he could have stopped her stumbling. He could have maybe fixed her leg. He wasn’t good at healing spells but surely he could have mended the bone. It would be like fixing a broom handle and he could do that. The upshot was if he could just be himself, she would still be alive. He just couldn’t see the point in himself anymore. He was a liability. The others would be nearly back by now if they hadn’t had to stop to look after him. Why were they even bothering? He was nothing, just a useless servant who wasn’t even any good at serving. As he stared into the fire he wished he had been swept away by the river, swept away to oblivion. 

Arthur came and knelt down in front of him. Merlin’s gaze stayed fixed on the small fire.

“Merlin?” Arthur said trying to get his attention. Merlin slowly turned his head slightly, his eyes focusing on Arthur. 

“Here,” Arthur said quietly as he took Merlin’s hands and gently put a plate of steaming fish in them. Merlin’s gaze fell to the fish.

“I don’t want it.” He said flatly.

“You must be hungry,” Arthur said “Are you warm enough? Do you want another blanket?”

Merlin slowly shook his head.

“I don’t want anything.” He said. That was actually a lie. There were lots of things he wanted. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to go home, back to Ealdor. He wanted to kiss Arthur. He wanted his head to stop hurting. He wanted to tell Arthur about his magic. He wanted to turn back time and save his horse. He wanted Arthur to hold him. He wanted to stop thinking, he wanted to stop hurting. 

Arthur reached out a hand and wiped away a tear from Merlin’s cheek with his thumb. Merlin hadn’t realised he was crying again.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “I know you don’t approve of me getting upset about animals.” Arthur couldn’t help hearing the slight bitterness in his voice. It surprised him a little.

“Oh Merlin,” He said resting his hands on Merlin’s knees. “She wasn’t just any animal though was she? She was your friend so of course it’s okay to be upset. And you had a nasty fall, you nearly drowned, I can’t begrudge you a few tears.” He said giving Merlin a smile.

“I could have saved her.” Merlin said quietly.

“No you couldn’t. The bank gave way, it was an accident and there was nothing you could have done. It could have been any of us.”

“No, Arthur,” Merlin said “You don’t understand I could have saved her, if I could have just used…” Merlin broke off mid-sentence as the tears flowed silently down his cheeks. He so wanted to tell his secret, just blurt it out and live with the consequences. 

Arthur had heard all this before. Merlin often claimed he would protect Arthur or die at his side trying and that he had indeed already saved his life on countless occasions. And of course there were times that Merlin had thrown himself into danger for the prince and had indeed saved his life. Like the time he had drunk from that blasted poisoned goblet and nearly died. He would always insist on being by Arthur’s side when they rode into danger as if he could do something to help and Arthur found his delusions of grandeur quite endearing. It always made him want to ruffle Merlin’s hair though he never had.

“There was nothing you could have done Merlin,” he said, “I know you think you are here to protect us all, but you are not. It’s my job to protect you and I seem to be doing a lousy job of it today. There was nothing you could have done,” he repeated. “Now please eat, eat up then we can go home.”

Arthur tucked a damp curl behind Merlin’s ear and got up to retrieve his coat and boots from next to the fire. Merlin didn’t notice the affectionate gesture or that Arthur had walked away. He was too caught up in his own thoughts. 

Merlin’s coat was nearly dry and they had put warm rocks inside the boots so they were nearly dry too. They were lovely and warm as Arthur slid them back on to Merlin’s feet before unwrapping the blanket and putting his jacket on him. Merlin had eaten very little of the fish but it was clear to Arthur that he really wasn’t going to be able to make him eat the rest.

“Come on then,” Arthur said as he pulled him to his feet and went over to mount his horse. The others had packed up whilst they had been talking and everyone was ready to leave “Let’s go home. You can share my horse.”

Merlin started to make his way along the path. “It’s a nice day, I think I would rather walk,” he said absentmindedly. It really wasn’t a nice day and the mud was already up to the tops of his boots.

“You are not walking all the way back to the castle, it’s miles Merlin and we want to get back quickly” Arthur said.

Merlin’s legs were starting to ache already. He stopped and looked up at Arthur. “You could go on without me. I could just catch up later.”

“Or you could stop being a dollop head and get on my horse.”

Arthur looked over at Percy who knew exactly what he wanted. He walked up behind Merlin and picking him up, swung him up behind the prince.

Arthur laughed at the surprised squawk Merlin let out as Percy manhandled him up behind him.

“Now hold on tight,” he said as he spurned his horse into a gallop. Arthur’s stomach gave a little flip as he felt Merlin’s hands snake round his waist and he felt Merlin lean in tight against his back. He liked this. Perhaps he wouldn’t get Merlin a new horse as he had originally planned. Perhaps he would always make him ride with him from now on.

After a few hours riding, Arthur felt Merlin’s cheek rest against his back and Merlin’s hands loosen their grip a little as his breathing slowed and he knew Merlin was falling asleep. He held the reins with one hand as he took both of Merlin’s with the other and held them against his stomach to ensure Merlin wouldn’t fall off as he slept.

 

Not ten minutes later Merlin was wrenched from his short sleep as Arthur’s horse abruptly stopped dead and Arthur struggled to keep her from rearing.

There in front of them in a clearing so close to the citadel was a creature, the likes of which none of them had ever seen before.

It was white and massive. Its huge body covered in fur and feathers and scales. There were long sharp spikes on its thick, long tail and it had huge leathery wings. His head was almost like an earless dog and it turned towards the small band of knights, watching them with huge yellow eyes. It stopped eating the large stag it was ripping apart with its sharp teeth and claws. The blood from the animal was smeared around its face, looking vivid against its bright white fur.  
Arthur had two options; he could turn the horses and flee or engage with the creature and kill it. Arthur being Arthur instantly chose the second option and as his horse was terrified and would go no further, he dismounted and drew his sword. Everyone else followed his lead except for Merlin who had no sword to draw but dismounted and stood next to his prince any way. 

“What in god’s name is that?” Gwaine asked quietly as the thing started rocking from side to side, its huge eyes never leaving the knights and a snarl forming on it lips showing two rows of long, sharp, bloody teeth. 

“I don’t know but it’s too close to the citadel to allow it to live.” Arthur replied and they all had to agree. It was obviously not friendly.

As Arthur took a small step forward, he was aware of Merlin just behind his shoulder taking a small step too. 

“Merlin, you are to stay here in the trees.” He said, his eyes not leaving the beast. 

Merlin shook his head “No sire.” He said.

“Merlin that is an order,” Arthur snarled through gritted teeth, “You will stay back and keep yourself safe. I forbid you to get any closer. Do you understand me?” 

The thing was terrifying and Merlin thought for once perhaps he would do as he was told. The knights could deal with it and with that thought Merlin slunk back into the tree line, his heart pounding in his chest. He felt sick and groggy from his short sleep.

The knights fanned out slightly and with Arthur in the lead began to edge slowly and cautiously towards the thing. The thing moved back slightly as it watched the knights intently. It made a low growling sound as the knights got closer, then suddenly it pounced.

Arthur stumbled and fell backwards as the beast flailed its front legs. Everything happened so fast and Merlin’s blurry brain couldn’t keep up. Somehow Percival had ended up thrown to one side and was now crumpled on the floor with Gwaine running to his side. Leon had ended up behind the creature and off to the opposite side of the clearing, trying to dodge the huge, thrashing tale, and Arthur was trying to scoot away from the thing using his elbows and heels as he was still on the ground. His sword was well out of reach and the creature was slowly advancing on him, its jaws snapping as it went. 

Merlin didn’t often get angry, but suddenly he was furious. He was tired, cold and hungry, he ached all over from those bloody floorboards and falling in the river. On top of that he had lost his horse and now it looked like he was going to lose his best friend and he had had enough. Without a proper thought as to what he was doing he ran from the cover of the trees shouting at the creature in dragon tongue. The beast had wings and scales; perhaps it was related to the dragon. Perhaps he could command it to leave. He wasn’t sure exactly what he was yelling but it was along the lines of, “I am the last of the dragon lords and I forbid you to harm my prince. Leave now or I shall rip you limb from limb.”

The thing stopped advancing on Arthur and watched as the small man ran forwards yelling words Arthur couldn’t understand. 

“Merlin, no! Get back you idiot!” Arthur shouted as Merlin positioned himself between Arthur and the beast.

To everyone’s amazement the creature stopped snarling and just looked at Merlin. The clearing was silent as the knights watched as Merlin stood tall, staring at the beast, his shoulders rising and falling as he took deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself. 

From where he was standing, Leon could clearly see Merlin’s eyes swirling gold as he stood staring at the beast. Leon had been ten years old when the great purge had begun and he remembered clearly that two of their family’s household staff had been taken away and burned as sorcerers. They had been good and kind and Leon had loved them both. He had always been sure that not all magic was evil as he had then been taught to believe. He was told that the magic would have corrupted the servants and they were only waiting for a time when they could strike and destroy them all. 

Seeing Merlin standing bravely in front of this massive, gleaming white beast, he knew he was right. It was obvious to him that Merlin had magic and there was no way that Merlin was or ever could be evil. He couldn’t let this beast kill him. He began running towards Merlin, not sure what he was going to do but he had to try and save him.

Merlin saw as Leon began running and saw that the beast’s thrashing tale would kill him if he got any closer to it so he raised his hand toward him and Leon found that he could no longer move his feet. Merlin had stuck him to the ground.

“Merlin!” he yelled, trying to use the momentum of his arms to get himself free “Let me go!”

Merlin just shook his head and mouthed sorry at Leon as his eyes never left the beast.

Merlin was scared but he wouldn’t let the thing know that. It obviously understood him but he was sure he had no power over it. It wasn’t a dragon after all. Then the beast took a deep breath and Merlin recognised it as the same deep breath that the great dragon took before breathing fire.

The knights watched open mouthed as Merlin brought his arm up in an elegant ark and produced a shimmering shield large enough to protect himself and Arthur as the beast let out a huge pillar of fire that shot towards them. 

Arthur couldn’t move but not through any enchantment. He couldn’t believe what Merlin was doing. All he could do was stare at Merlin’s back as he realised that his Merlin, his dear, sweet, clumsy, beautiful, idiot of a servant who he loved with every fibre of his being, was a sorcerer. 

The wall of fire just kept on coming and Merlin had a chance to think. He and Arthur were safe behind his shield. Leon was safe at the moment because he couldn’t move into danger. Percival was still out cold so was safe for now and Gwaine was still by Percy’s side and Merlin thought he would stay there for Percy. He just had to work out how to kill the thing.

He had killed Nimueh by calling power from the skies. He somehow knew that this was a creature from the sky so he knew that wouldn’t work this time. It stood to reason that he would need to harness power from the ground. He didn’t really know how to do that but he must try. 

The fire was beginning to abate and the creature had obviously used a huge amount of energy to keep it up so long and it leant back a little as its shoulders heaved against its exertions. Hopefully it would give Merlin some time.

He held his hands down straight and slightly away from his body as he splayed his long fingers. His eyes never left the beast as his mouth started an incantation that he never knew he knew. His eyes swirled gold as he spoke the same words quietly over and over again. 

The ground started to grumble and the knights saw as shimmering waves of energy were sucked from the ground and into Merlin’s hands. The whole clearing seemed to be undulating in ever decreasing waves like a ripple on a lake with Merlin in the centre. The energy waves looked like heat haze on a hot summers day. 

Percival began to come round at the feeling of the vibrations beneath him.

“What’s going on?” he asked Gwaine groggily.

“It appears that our Merlin is a sorcerer and he is going to destroy the beast and save us and all of Camelot to boot.” Gwaine replied in awe. 

Percival started to laugh at Gwaines joke but looking over at Merlin saw that Gwaine was actually telling the truth and his mouth dropped open in surprise.

Arthur looked around and could feel the energy as it rolled over his prone body. He had never felt or seen anything like it. He could see Merlin was shaking under the strain and when it seemed like he could take it no more Arthur saw Merlin raise his hands towards the beast.

Merlin used the power he had collected and along with all his anger, thrust it into the massive body of the creature in front of him. He felt it shudder and still as he manipulated the energy to wrap around the beasts major organs. He wrapped it around its heart and squeezed. He wrapped it around its liver and kidneys and stomach and brain and when he had a tight hold of all he could get hold of he clenched his fists and pulled.

As Merlin pulled his clenched fist back the beast started writhing in pain. Its body thrashing as it tried to pull free of the death grip that Merlin had on it. Merlin was sweating and shaking under the strain. He had never felt so powerful. He suddenly realised the thing was going to burst and without breaking his hold he quickly raised shields in front of his friends as the beast was pulled apart under his grip. Flesh and bone rained down on them all and the knights automatically ducked, covering their heads with their arms but nothing touched them as the tattered chunks of the beast bounced off Merlin’s shields.

As the bloody bits fell and settled on the ground, Merlin released his grip and dismissed the shields. As Leon went to stand up from his crouch he realised he could now move his feet.

Arthur scrambled over to his sword and as he stood up saw Merlin slump in front of him. He thought he was going to fall but the sorcerer managed to stay upright. He looked over at Leon and Gwaine and Percival to check that they were okay and then turned round to check on Arthur.

Arthur gripped his sword and was unsure if he should be afraid of the sorcerer standing in front of him. Merlin’s eyes were still swirling gold and Arthur could feel the residue of the magic rolling off Merlin’s shaking frame. The taste of magic was thick in the air all around them.

It was not until Merlin saw the look on Arthur’s face that he actually realised what he had just done. Arthur saw as the realisation washed over his friend and he then knew there was nothing to be scared of. 

Neither of them could believe what had just happened as they stood a fair distance apart, staring at each other.

Merlin’s mind was racing. What had he just done? He had just harnessed the power of the earth and allowed his anger to destroy probably one of the most magnificent creatures he had ever seen, all in front of the crown prince of Camelot and his most trusted knights. He had just broken the law in a most spectacular way. He couldn’t hide this. He couldn’t say that they had imagined it or make up some far-fetched story to cover himself. He had just wanted to keep his friends safe and now he had destroyed everything. He knew the best thing to do right now was to run and never look back but he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave his prince unprotected. He had no choice but to stay and accept the consequences of his actions. 

As Merlin’s eyes slowly returned to their normal blue, he slunk down onto his knees. He bowed his head and twisted his hands together in his lap.

Arthur took a tiny step forward.

“What did you do?” he asked quietly, still unable to believe what he had just witnessed.

“I’m a sorcerer,” Merlin said, sounding much calmer than he felt. “I have magic and I always have had.” Saying it out loud went against everything he had ever been taught and he felt like all the air had been sucked from the world. He gulped as he tried to force some air into his lungs and the tears started to flow silently down his cheeks. 

Arthur kept staring at Merlin and it all made sense. He had always known there was something different about him, from the first day they met. So many things fell into place. Things that had been bothering him that he was unable to put his finger on. Things he tried not to think about. Arthur had often thought he must have a guardian angel and now he could see him kneeling in front of him. Merlin had in fact always been by his side to protect him as he had said. He knew he should be angry that Merlin had lied to him for all these years but frankly who could blame him. He truly was the bravest man he had ever known, to live in Camelot under the fear of death but Merlin had to stop throwing himself in danger for him. That creature could have killed him. The thought of that made Arthurs blood run cold and he knew he must do everything in his power to keep Merlin safe. Now even more than ever. He would have to work hard to protect him from his father, he couldn’t lose him now. Not now he could see him for who he was.

All Arthur wanted to do was pull Merlin into his arms and tell him everything would be okay. He needed to stop his tears and tell him that he loved him. He started rushing forward towards his sorcerer but never reached him because suddenly Leon was standing in between them.

Seeing Arthur rushing forward with his sword in his hand, Leon was sure that the prince was going to kill Merlin as he knelt submissive on the ground.

Arthur looked at his knight confused.

“Stand aside Leon,” he said as he tried to get past him but Leon neatly moved so that he was still blocking his path.

“Sorry Sire,” Leon replied, “I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“You can and you will.” Arthur said through gritted teeth whilst trying to stay calm. He could only presume that Leon thought Merlin was a danger and was trying to protect Arthur from his sorcery. He knew that the power that Merlin had just demonstrated was impressive but it was Merlin. He would never hurt anyone. He had seen what Merlin had done to Leon but couldn’t he see that he had only done it to stop Leon getting killed by that thrashing tail. Merlin’s magic had just saved Leon’s life.

Leon shook his head and unsheathed his sword.

“Please sire,” Leon said. “Please just consider carefully what you are going to do.” 

He had considered and he wanted to talk to his friend. He looked around the tall knight and saw that Merlin mercifully hadn’t moved. Arthur had a horrible feeling that if he didn’t get to Merlin soon that he would run away and he couldn’t let that happen.

“Stand aside Leon,” he repeated but Leon just shook his head. He would not allow Arthur to kill the man who had just saved his life, saved all their lives.

“This is treason Sir Leon.” Arthur said, meaning Leon disobeying him.

Leon nodded. He knew that being a sorcerer was treason. Everyone knew that but it didn’t make it right. He was just going to open his mouth to plead for Merlin to be taken back to Camelot for a fair trial rather than Arthur running him through where he knelt when Gwaine joined him on one side and Percival on the other.

Arthur couldn’t believe this. He appreciated his knights concern for his safety but it was obvious that Merlin was no danger. He was knelt in the most submissive pose possible. If Merlin was going to attack he would have done so by now and if a massive fire breathing beast couldn’t stop him then a wall of knights certainly wouldn’t be able to.

“Let. Me. Past.” Arthur said slowly.

“Look, Leon’s right,” Percival said drawing his sword, “We know you are upset but just stop and think for a moment sire.”

Arthur was truly flabbergasted. This was possibly the longest sentence Percy had ever said to him. Percy would happily chat to the other knights and Merlin but he always seemed so shy around Arthur.

“Of course I’m upset,” he all but yelled, “Now let me past so I can start putting things right!”

The knights all took up an attack stance at the idea of Arthur ‘putting things right.’ 

“Run Merlin,” Gwaine said over his shoulder, his eyes not leaving the prince.

“No!” Arthur shouted panicking. If Merlin ran he may never see him again. Merlin would be able to hide and Arthur would never find him.

“I’m not running,” Merlin said quietly as his body shook with small sobs. He appreciated what his friends were trying to do. It was good to know that they didn’t hate him but he wished they would stop making Arthur angrier than he already was. He hated the thought that Arthur would turn on them after he had finished with him. They were aiding a known sorcerer; he had known people executed for less.

“Just run Merlin!” Gwaine shouted.

“Never! I will not run! I refuse to hide anymore! I have had enough of living in fear because of who I am!” Merlin shouted. 

“Merlin! Run!” Gwaine yelled again.

Arthur snapped. He had to shut Gwaine up before Merlin decided to do as he said. Without thinking Arthur brought his elbow up and smashed it into Gwaine’s jaw. There was a sickening thud and Gwaine slumped out cold onto the ground. Arthur hadn’t meant that to happen. He had just wanted him to stop talking and he felt bad. “Leon see to Gwaine” he snapped as he rushed around the slumped body and threw himself to his knees in front of Merlin. 

Pericval went to pull Arthur away when Leon held out a hand to stop him. He realised that Arthur no longer had his sword in his hand and suddenly wondered if he had read the prince wrong. 

Merlin didn’t look up as Arthur grabbed the top of his arms and gave him a small shake. There was so much he wanted to say but he didn’t really know where to start.

“This has to stop Merlin.” He said addressing the first of his concerns.

This made Merlin look up. He shook his head.

“I can’t Arthur,” he said. “You may as well tell me to stop breathing.”

Arthur looked confused for a second.

“No, not the magic you idiot,” he said realising what Merlin meant “I don’t care about the magic, though you will still have to keep that hidden from my father. What I meant was you have to stop throwing yourself into danger for me.”

Merlin gasped. He thought he must be hearing things but his heart sang, Arthur said he didn’t care about the magic.

“What?” he said.

“You must stop throwing yourself in front of danger for me,” he repeated.

“But, you are going to be the King, sire. You need to live so that you can unite all of Albion and bring peace and prosperity to Camelot. I am nothing but a servant and I live to serve you. If I have to die so you can live then so be it. Your life is so much more important than mine…”

“No, no, no, Merlin,” Arthur cut him off with another little shake. “My life isn’t more important than yours. You are so important, important to me. Don’t you see Merlin?” 

He searched Merlin’s face and saw that no, he didn’t see. He would just have to show him and pulling Merlin roughly forward he crushed their lips together and kissed him for all he was worth.

Merlin’s eyes opened wide. At first he didn’t know what to do but he soon relaxed into it and began kissing back. It was better than either of them had ever imagined and they had both imagined it lots. One of Arthur’s arms slipped round Merlin’s shoulder as the fingers of the other hand went to the back of his neck and buried themselves in Merlin’s soft hair as he pulled him closer. Merlin’s arm’s slipped around Arthurs back holding him tight. The kiss was messy and desperate. All the frustrations of the last few days were poured into it and they groaned into each other’s mouths.

Percival felt his cheeks get hot at the sight of the crown prince of Camelot snogging his servant. He gave a nervous cough and excused himself, muttering about seeing to the horses.

Leon felt like a right idiot. He had completely misunderstood Arthur’s intentions. He really had thought he wanted to kill the newly discovered sorcerer, not snog his brains out. Gwaine gave a groan at his feet and Leon knelt back down to help his friend sit up.

“Where’s Merlin?” Gwaine asked rubbing his jaw.

Leon nodded over to where the two friends still hadn’t come up for air.

Gwaines eyes nearly popped out of his head and then he started laughing.

“I’m guessing that the princess isn’t going to kill him then,” he laughed.

“I think not,” Leon replied sheepishly. 

Arthur was so caught up with the heat and wetness of Merlin’s wonderful mouth that he had forgotten that they were not alone. It took a few minutes for the words to slip through into his mind but when they did he pulled away from Merlin, leaving his beautiful servant panting against his shoulder. He turned his head to look at the two remaining knights not caring that he was still holding Merlin in his arms and that they had witnessed him kissing his servant or whatever Merlin now was.

“What did you just say Gwaine?” Arthur asked.

“I said you’re not going to kill him then.” Gwaine said grinning.

“You thought I was going to kill him?” he said. “Is that why you were trying to keep me away from him?”

“Um, yes sire,” Leon said, “May I ask, what you thought we were trying to do?”

“I thought you were trying to protect me from the evil sorcerer.”

Gwaine and Leon laughed. 

“No sire,” Leon said, “we were trying to protect the ‘evil’ sorcerer from you.”

“Evil? Merlin?” said Gwaine laughing again. “Those two words don’t really fit in the same sentence do they?”

“Merlin could never be evil” said Percival re-joining the group now the kissing had stopped.

Merlin wasn’t paying any attention to this conversation. He was too exhausted. All he could think about was that Arthur now knew his secret; he didn’t need to hide from him anymore and he wasn’t going to die today. Arthur pushed Merlin away from him slightly so that he could look him in the eye. Merlin did look exhausted.

“You didn’t think I was going to kill you did you Merlin?” Arthur asked

“It had crossed my mind,” Merlin answered.

Arthur was shocked and he looked around at his knights. “Surely you all know I would never hurt him?” he looked back at the exhausted sorcerer and ran his hand through his raven hair. “I could never hurt you Merlin you must know that.”

“I do now,” Merlin grinned.

“How could you think that?” Arthur asked. “And if you thought I was going to kill you, why didn’t you run when you had the chance?” Arthur asked.

Merlin took a deep breath. He didn’t really want to have this conversation right now.

“Because, you have been brought up to believe all magic is evil and you have never given me any reason to believe that you don’t think otherwise. I also thought that you would be angry because I have lied to you for all these years, but you have to know Arthur that I have only used my magic to help you..”

Arthur cut him off.

“Yes I know that.” he said “I knew that as soon as I realised what you are. Why didn’t you run?”

“Because I live to serve you Arthur. I would rather die than be unable to protect you. I belong by your side.”

Arthur beamed at him

“Yes Merlin, yes you do. That’s exactly where you belong. When I am king I will change the law. Until then you must be careful. No more stunts like this one.” he said, indicating the mess of beast remains around the clearing. Arthur then turned to the knights, “I take as you were all willing to commit treason to save him from me that I can rely on you all to keep Merlin’s secret safe?”

They all grinned and agreed wholeheartedly.

Arthur nodded his thanks to them and turned his attention back to Merlin.

“I believe you have a lot to tell me when we get back.” He said and Merlin nodded. “And no more lies?” Arthur continued.

“I promise I will never lie to you ever again,” Merlin said with all sincerity.

Arthur smiled and kissed him on the forehead.

“Now let’s get you home.” Arthur said helping Merlin to his feet. 

 

Once they were on their way again, Merlin and Arthur were able to talk quietly as they shared a horse. Arthur made Merlin sit in the front as he was sure he would fall asleep and fall off if he was on the back. Merlin grumbled that he wasn’t a girl but didn’t really mind as it meant that Arthur’s arms were around him as he held the reins. 

“When we get back,” Arthur whispered into merlin’s ear, “I suggest we have a bath then test those clean sheets on my bed.”

Merlin groaned as his breaches tightened at the thought of being in a bath with his golden prince. He felt the evidence against his back that Arthur also liked his idea. A lot.

Merlin leant against Arthurs strong chest and Arthur gave Merlin’s neck little kisses when he thought no one else would notice. Merlin was finding it very difficult to stay awake. He had never performed such powerful sorcery before and it had completely drained him but he had never felt as at ease as he did now as he fell asleep safely in Arthur’s arms.

As Camelot’s turrets came into view, Arthur didn’t think he had ever felt so contented. Merlin now knew how he felt and he knew that Merlin felt the same about him. It would be an extra worry, making sure the king would never find out about Merlin, but Merlin who was a rubbish liar had managed to keep his secret for all these years so it must be possible. If he ever did find out, Arthur would just leave taking Merlin with him until it was safe for them both to return. He knew that as long as they were together they would live happily ever after.

The end


End file.
